Marriage Advice : What not to Say to Your Man
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Your husband isn’t perfect. Neither are you. But telling him what’s wrong with him is a surefire way to destroy your marriage.
Men need to feel that their marriage is a safe zone that they can simply enjoy. They need to feel that they can be who they are, without being told that what they do is wrong. Because of that, you need to careful about how you open up a discussion about what isn’t satisfying you in your marriage.
I don’t recommend that you tell your partner: “I’ve been reading this book, and it says that we need to work on our relationship.” The phrase ‘work on’ implies that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. It will make him feel as if he’s not doing enough and put him immediately on the defensive.
Avoid telling him, “I think we need to talk about our marriage.” The ambiguity of the statement will lead him to expect the worse. As a result, he’ll close off emotionally rather than opening up to what you have to say.
Rather than criticizing your marriage, you tell your partner that you want to feel even closer and more connected to him. Tell him, “You know, I’ve been thinking, and I want to spend more time with you. I miss all the things we used to do when we were dating. Do you think we could find the time to talk to each other more?”
If you are looking for more tips on saving marriage and relationship I suggest you to look for an ebook of Amy Waterman Save your Marriage today.
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Marriage Counseling Therapy
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| A good therapist helps couple demonstrate
changes and positive outcomes from their relationship.
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There are many different issues which may come to the surface if you and your spouse decide to go to marriage counseling. Therapy for couples will help you look at things in a new light, consider unhealthy patterns, and find ways to communicate better. Sometimes things may get worse before they get better as you face tough issues and open up wounds which have never really healed. But these wounds must be opened and dealt with if things are to get better in your marriage.
In marriage counseling, therapy is like cleaning out the infected wound so it can finally heal once and for all. It will hurt at first, but it is well worth it in the long run. A skillful therapist will work with you to find the best ways to manage the pain as you go through the process.
One of the key issues that often comes up is difficulty letting go of the past. Hanging on to old hurts, harboring resentment, and refusing to forgive will keep you stuck. Letting go of the past is difficult for a lot of people, but it is essential for the sake of your marriage and for you to make progress in the course of your marriage counseling. Therapy won't fix you, but it can help you to get stuck?and find a way to let go.
Holding on to the past is destructive to a relationship. If either you or your spouse are doing this then it is going to show up in various ways in your relationship. What often happens is that whenever there is a conflict, one of you brings up the past and uses it as ammunition against the other. While it may give you a sense of leverage or power in the moment, it keeps you both stuck.
If you are the spouse whose past offense is frequently thrown back in your face, you no doubt know the sting and guilt that accompany such painful reminders. We all make mistakes. And we all desire forgiveness. It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone who just can't let something go.
Sometimes it's easier to forgive others and let go when we have experienced real forgiveness ourselves. But when you haven't, and it is hurting your marriage, then you may really benefit from marriage counseling. Therapy is much less costly than a divorce. And if you give it a chance, you may find that you and your spouse can finally heal the wounds and have a stronger marriage than ever!
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Connect With Your Partner : 7 Little Things To Do
- In the busy rush of everyday life, it can be easy to forget the most basic ways to connect with
your partner. These simple yet powerful gestures, courtesy of the forthcoming book Save Your Marriage
in Five Minutes a Day byBonnie Jacobson, Ph.D., with Alexia Paul (Adams Media 2011),
are easy ways feel closer in mere minutes. - Holding hands is announcing to the world that you're together.
Hand holding is an uncomplicated sign of your togetherness. It's an announcement to the world that you belong together. Reaching for your spouse's hand may also take you back to those first few dates where his touch sent sparks flying.
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This is charmingly old-fashioned and shows that you lean on each other. While walking together,
take his arm and notice an instant feeling of togetherness. If you and your partner don't enjoy
holding hands, this gesture is a great alternative. -
Turn your usual TV time into a physical encounter by snuggling on the couch. Rather than sitting in
separate seats, or putting the bowl of popcorn between you, just plop down and get close.
This turns what could have been an average evening into a warm, shared experience--and maybe
even more. 
This is an unselfish act that is usually appreciated beyond measure, especially if it's unsolicited. And don't forget foot massages, which can be surprisingly sensual. Doing this may inspire him to return the favor. (Or you can ask in your sweetest voice and he'll get the hint!)
- An ear tug or wink will mean nothing to those around you, but you'll both know what the other is
thinking. Covert foreplay in public often adds to the sensual vibe you are seeking. -
Your days are likely filled with responsibilities and compromises that are decidedly unsexy, and sometimes, it can seem like you're running on parallel tracks with the person you married, just trying to get it all done. But if you take a few minutes to think about your partner as your chosen lover, you'll feel more connected. This is foreplay's foreplay, getting yourself primed to reach out to your partner.
- Surprise your spouse by introducing an arousing vibe into otherwise mundane moments. Give him a long, unbroken kiss while stopped at a red light. Sometimes it's the surprise that counts!
- Need more tips on marriage . Check out Save Your Marriage by Amy Waterman.
Keys to a Happy Marriage
Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Here is the answer.......
You are going to reconnect on a much higher level, both verbally, physically, and emotionally, every day reaffirming to each other that you are their dream spouse and are part of their exciting future, wherever that may be...
CLICK HERE ON HOW TO ReCONNECT YOUR SPOUSE ALL OVER AGAIN...
Incredible Intimacy
Not long ago, I defined "intimacy" as the physical part of our relationship. That definition has expanded.
Through the years our relationship became less selfish, richer and less physical. Now, don't misunderstand, the physical aspect of our relationship is still important and fulfilling. Somehow the physical element of intimacy now takes a backseat to a new, more meaningful, intimacy experience.
Over the last several years, our marriage has evolved in to a deeper partnership, with increased trust, confidence and security. Our communications and conflict resolution skills have improved. We selflessly serve each other, always looking for creative ways to express our love and foster romance.
Our relationship has expanded beyond simple physical intimacy into a deep spiritual intimacy.
To be honest, this new level of closeness caught me by surprise. Not long ago couples made spiritual decisions and commitments that, to all, seemed unrelated to our marriage. An upshot of our now changed lives is a stronger, more vibrant marriage — Spiritual Intimacy. It was a package deal.
Essentially, spiritual intimacy in marriage is about partnering with God; Harnessing His love, strength and leadership and utilizing that power in your marriage.
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Remember, spiritual intimacy doesn't just "happen" — We made specific decisions and commitments that made us accessible to what God wanted to do in our marriage.
SO HOW TO GET YOUR INTIMACY ALL OVER AGAIN??
HERE IS THE ANSWER.......
YOU ARE GOING TO RECONNECT ON A MUCH HIGHER LEVEL, BOTH VERBALLY, PHYSICALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY, EVERY DAY REAFFIRMING TO EACH OTHER THAT YOU ARE THEIR DREAM SPOUSE AND ARE PART OF THEIR EXCITING FUTURE, WHEREVER THAT MAY BE...
CLICK HERE ON HOW TO RECONNECT YOUR SPOUSE ALL OVER AGAIN...
Hollywood Marriage
A Hollywood marriage originally meant a glamorous high society marriage between celebrities involved in the U.S. film industry; the word "Hollywood" is often used to represent the US film industry. However, the term has grown to also have strong negative connotations of a marriage that is of short duration and quickly ends in separation or divorce. The term developed the negative connotations fairly early; by the 1930s, a "Hollywood marriage" was a marriage both glamorous and short-lived. This connotation may also have related, at times, to moral panics over Hollywood's influence on the culture.
Sympathetic views of celebrities point out that in Hollywood, it is mostly the bad marriages that are documented by the media, giving a skewed perspective that might make "Hollywood marriages" appear to have a worse success rate than they have in reality. In the St. Joseph's article from 1938, cited in the above paragraph, the paper only studied "Hollywood marriages" that had ended in divorce and ignored those couples still married at that time. For a more modern example, when Tiger Woodswas not experiencing marital problems, the public hardly heard of his married life. But, after his infidelity was exposed, the media continually dealt with his marriage, in sharp contrast to the times when the marriage was untroubled.[5]
Negative views of Hollywood marriages take the position that the divorce rates are indeed unusually high among celebrities and that this is caused by faults within Hollywood as a culture or by personal faults of the celebrities themselves. They point to the usage of weddings as publicity stunts, the egotism or immaturity of celebrities or "celebrity culture", and high rates of infidelity or promiscuity. Bee Wilson, in an article for The Daily Telegraph, critiqued "Hollywood marriages" for often being based on the unrealistic dreams of what she termed "permanent children," although she points to some classic Hollywood couples, like Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart or Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, as exceptions to these criticisms.
"Hollywood marriages" that lasted less than three years
The idea that the term "Hollywood marriage" equates to something short-term is sometimes displayed by citing celebrities who had marriages that ended in divorce or annulment within three years. The following examples of that and reasons may be given when known.
- Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds: Married for 2 years.
- Sinéad O'Connor and Barry Herridge: Married for 16 days.
- Katy Perry and Russell Brand: Married for 14 months. This is the first marriage for both
- Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries: Married for 72 days. It was the First for Humphries and the second for Kardashian
- Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon: Married for ten weeks. She was also married to Kid Rock for six months.[7][8]
- Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas: Nineteen days from February to March 1994.[9] Her second marriage, to comedian Tom Green, lasted a little over a year.
Rudolph Valentino & Jean Acker
Married: 6 hours
What Went Wrong: This classic doomed romance perhaps started the trend of fast-paced divorce. Valentino, a famous Italian actor — nicknamed "the Latin Lover" — impulsively married the American actress in 1919. She quickly regretted the decision and locked him out of their honeymoon suite. After knocking for 20 minutes (the door, not boots), he headed home. In divorce proceedings, she claimed they never consummated their union.
What Went Wrong: This classic doomed romance perhaps started the trend of fast-paced divorce. Valentino, a famous Italian actor — nicknamed "the Latin Lover" — impulsively married the American actress in 1919. She quickly regretted the decision and locked him out of their honeymoon suite. After knocking for 20 minutes (the door, not boots), he headed home. In divorce proceedings, she claimed they never consummated their union.
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You are going to reconnect on a much higher level, both verbally, physically, and emotionally, every day reaffirming to each other that you are their dream spouse and are part of their exciting future, wherever that may be...
CLICK HERE ON HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!!
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